My attempts to develop an artificial testicle have been shambolic.
The hospital that my daughter is staying at got one direction to visit her. She’s also going to see Liam Payne next week!
A coworker told me this joke recently when I told him to “tell me a joke” What happens when you drink food colouring? You dye a little on the inside.
Looks like the Tories have found that massive black hole they were missing
I fucking told the gagrge I worked at I had a nut allergy. But they still sacked me when all the wheels fell off.
My wife said she’s leaving me for 14 reasons and my obsession with tennis.
I said that’s 15 love
My wife’s got a job as a traffic warden. I think the power has gone to her head. We were having sex last night and afterwards she said “that will be £40”
I said “for fuck sake, I was only in there 2 minutes”
What’s brown, and half-eaten? The Pope’s Easter egg
I gave my wife a pair of odour eaters and she was quite offended, “Are you saying my feet smell?” She asked.
“Not at all, ” I replied, “they’re for your knickers.”